sir.

dearest sir.

you do realize that you are your own worst enemy, right?
you push away everything good in your life with your negativity.
you dont, honestly, care about other people. 
you think you do, but you dont.

you are so wrapped up in yourself.

if i called you right now, you would probably come.
not because of me, not because you love me.
not because you enjoy helping others.
but because of yourself, because you love being needed.

i have always stood up for you. 
i have always loved you, even through you being unlovable at times.
i have always wanted whats best for you.

i still do.
               somewhere in my heart.
i still want the best for you.
i dont want you to suffer.
i cringe because you allow yourself to repeat this same destructive cycle.

but that friday.
you changed my heart for you.
i want you well.
i want you to love God.
i want you to grow up.
but without my friendship.

you were so disgusting.
foul.
   heartless.
       cold.
          selfish!
im not sure why ive ever allowed myself around that.

so im saying goodbye to you.
something i never thought i would do.
and whilst it hurt on that friday. 
it still hurt on that saturday.

it no longer hurts.

sincerely,
i love me more.